What Would Jesus Do…If He Were You?

What Would Jesus Do? I’ve seen people with the keychains, t-shirts, bracelets, bumper stickers, and pens. And there have been many a time when I even asked myself that question: “What would Jesus do?” People get offended when you ask questions regarding God, but no one feels badly about asking, “What would Martin Luther King think?” or “What would Malcolm X say?” or even, “What would some other public figure do, say, or think.” I am a Christian. I believe wholeheartedly in God. But, I also believe that God wouldn’t be angered by my curiosity. To think that God wouldn’t entertain uncomfortable questions is to say that we must follow Him because we are scared. I don’t think that we serve a God that seeks for us to be scared. So in that vein, I am writing.

I did not grow up in a home where there was a successful marriage. My mother, after doing everything right, perhaps married the wrong person. I’m sure that she prayed and asked God to guide her in her decision making process. I’m sure she believed that her marriage would be til death did them part. But, my father turned out to be a liar, a cheat, and a deadbeat. Ultimately, my mom made the decision to divorce him. As she told us, “being married to your father was like being single. So, I decided to just be single.” You just can’t get me to believe that marriage is for everyone. I am not at all insinuating that I don’t believe in marriage – but I am saying that I think that staying in marriages or getting married for the wrong reason, is dumb!
How many instances do you know about in which a man knocked up a woman and then married her out of obligation? Don’t front! That might be the situation with your own mother and father. Why should we make a mistake to make up for the first mistake? If you don’t truly want to be married, then don’t do it. And before you start to ask me who the heck I think I am to be giving advice on marriage when I’ve never been married, take a look at Jesus. Yeah! Silence

When I was teaching, I had this picture in my classroom of a black Jesus. My principal had an issue with White Jesus’ so she found that one to be acceptable (this is not a conversation about black and white). Here’s the thing- I chose that picture because Jesus looked….ummm, aesthetically pleasing to my eye. This very picture would then lead me to begin wondering how a man that looked like that could have remained single. You see, when men cheat or even slightly wander, we like to give them a pass – stating that this is just the nature of men. We like to say that men can’t help but appreciate a beautiful women, that men can’t control their urges, that men….you get the point. But, Jesus was a card toting man. Women wiped his feet with their hair. Come on son! That’s not the only instance of women going crazy over this man. Yet, he never married. He never dated. From a young child to a grown adult, he NEVER kissed a girl? So how could he tell us about marriage? How could he be the expert on relationships? How could he give advice to the men of his times – juggling multiple women (legally)? I just wonder.

Marriage is rough. When you sit down and truly think about your marriage and decide to be honest about it, many will admit that it hasn’t been a cakewalk. People bring stuff. I know I do. The one thing that I’ve learned about myself is that I’m so very imperfect, that I might border on being a little too self righteous, that I am not good at being vulnerable and sharing, that I can lack a great deal of common sense – and I learned that just this year. Look! No one is perfect, but some people are damn hard to deal with.
Some people just work too hard. Some people are boring. Some people are lazy. Some people are easily distracted. Some people are dishonest. Some people are untamable. So many different things. I’m not saying that we shouldn’t take spiritual advice on marriage – because, at the least, it puts parameters around this institute. But, I just wonder- “What would Jesus do…If He were you?” He’d have to marry a strong woman.

If I ever get to meet Jesus, I want to ask him if there were any women that he had a crush on. Yup! That’s gonna be my question.

Food and Family

My Christmas holiday was very quiet – and I really enjoyed it being that way. To say that I didn’t miss my family, would be a lie. There was no hustle and bustle. There was no laughter. I do miss that. I miss the jokes of my cousins – or even marveling at how truly beautiful my family members are. I miss watching how consumed they are with their images and how the boys take hours to ensure that they are just pretty (I call the men/boys in my family “the ladies”). They are just so meticulous.

Last year, I began a new tradition: Learning how to make West Indian dishes. For year one, I tackled the big dog – pepperpot. 

Pepperpot, the national dish of Guyana, is an Amerindian meat stew which uses cassareep. Cassareep is a preservative made from grated cassava and flavoured with cinnamon and brown sugar. The Amerindians developed cassareep as a way of preserving meats in the days before refrigeration. Do not refrigerate leftovers. This dish develops flavour when left over a period of days. If not refrigerated, it MUST be reheated to a boil every day. In the early days, a pepperpot was always in the kitchen, and more meat was added to it each day, keeping the pot going for years.

This dish is one of the joints that the old folk mess with. It’s not something that a newbie needs to mess with. But, I tackled it – and failed!!! That was year one. But this year, your girl tried again; and……..WINNING!!!!

It’s a tradition to eat this for breakfast on Christmas morning with bread. But, I didn’t have bread. But, my pepperpot turned out legit. Ask about me.

I also tackled cheese rolls for the second year in a row also. Those also turned out quite nicely. I won’t bore you with the pictures. But, let’s just say that, in their travels back to New Jersey, my cousins spent the night here last night and had some. It’s truly the highest honor when picky eaters taste your food and love it.

I missed sharing my cooking with my family. I missed the tradition of us all waking up and having pepperpot for breakfast. But, I carry my family with me. And, I’m just so blessed to be on this Earth to celebrate another year of Christmas. I didn’t get any gifts or give out any for that matter, but just the opportunity to be alive is gift enough for me.

Change is Now

West Indians are cruel – and it’s not always on purpose. If there is one area in which they lack sensitivity, it’s in the weight department. So, I don’t know why I would be shocked by their responses to me about my extreme weight gain. To many people that I am in daily contact with, I am not big; but to people who have known me from the days when they thought I was anorexic, my current size is HUGE. I understand that there is this whole “big is beautiful movement” – and to that I say, “more power to you.” But, I am not a proud card holding member of that club. For me, being slim is important. For one, being slim for me means that I am healthier. And, as I get older, being healthy means so much more. With my family history, I just don’t want to face a very certain probability of the Highs (High Blood Pressure and High Cholesterol) and Diabetes.

 
Weight loss has been a struggle. One of the main reasons for this has been because I have really been unsuccessful in managing my life properly. I’m not ashamed to be honest about this struggle. I don’t necessarily eat unhealthily, but I don’t eat regularly. I love red meat and cheese – and am no longer physically active. Add to that my work hours, sedentary lifestyle, and age, and you have my current package. Things have to change. The truth about losing weight and being healthy is simply, “It’s up to ME!!!!!” No friend can motivate you or police you. You just have to make the decision for yourself.

 
So for 2012, I feel that I am facing the biggest challenge of my life. I’m terrified of needles, hate taking pills, and am afraid of doctors. If I want my quality of life to improve, I need to take the initiative and make the necessary changes in my life. I feel that I was the most successful when I spent my time as a writer/blogger. The truth is, I don’t have much of an excuse for why certain things in my life stopped. I just need to get it all back.

 
I’m not starting a weight loss blog – but I do want to get back to having an online diary. I miss writing. I really do. I have a lot of things proposed for this year. Let’s just say that 2012 is the year of rebuilding for me. My life is completely different from what it was even two years ago. I feel like a new college grad starting life. I never thought 30 would have ever found me in such a place of limbo and uncertainty.

 
My new blog will probably be called “The Third Decade.” Look out!!!!!! I think the girl is back. Weight, Politics, Travel, Life, Music and Change. Get ready!